Commitment Phobia | Beginners Guide For Using Goals

We were taught about them in school, we can read about them in books, we see quotes about them all over our social accounts. There is absolutely no doubt that we know that goals are good for us, we know we should make them and be 'SMART' about them.

Make your goals Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound.

I have a quote attached to my cork board which sits on my desk screaming at me daily that-

'Goals put feet on our dreams'

We make resolutions in the New Year, we plan our year ahead some of us even five years ahead and then more often than not we don't stick to our resolutions, some of us don't stick to our yearly plans, we get distracted and 'life' gets in the way.

Personally I don't think a New Year resolution is a good idea - I however do believe goals are important but am I any good at goal making? Absolutely not. I have a rough idea of what I want out of life and what I want to achieve for the year definitely.

I actually think I have a severe commitment problem.

Goals SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

Can anyone relate?

I've been thinking about ways to become less 'commitment-phobic' - 'what can I write for my followers to help them if they're in the same position as me?' well guys I am obviously no expert but here is where I want to begin.

Become accountable!

I am 100% afraid of sharing my goals. That would mean I have to stick to them hahaha SO AFRAID TO COMMIT. Someone help me! 

What if I were to share via social media, this blog, with my close friends and my partner something I want to achieve? Would that help me stick to it?

I know that for a lot of people being accountable can really help them. When we share our goals with others we have to show those people that we can stick to our word and i'm not saying we have to reach the end of our goal but we do have to have worked hard to get there, I definitely don't believe we are failures if we don't fully achieve them but if we haven't even tried well... 

So maybe a good place to begin is to share our goal with someone who we know will keep us accountable.

And start small!

Now if there is one thing you need to know about me its that I am a serious like serious big big dreamer! There are things in life I want to achieve that often seem so out of reach, mostly I don't even know where to begin. Also there is just so much I want to do!

Being a big dreamer like myself is not at all a bad thing, its actually the coolest thing ever! BUT often it can make us feel (well I know it does for me) small. Especially when you find it hard to know where to begin and you cannot see the path to the end.

So for us commitment phob's - those of us who struggle to achieve our goals lets start small!

There is no point in trying to reach your biggest goal in life if you struggle sticking to your goal in the first place right? Whatever you big goal is, you can get there but in small steps, you could break your big dream into smaller blocks and begin to take it a block at a time.

Or you could just warm yourself up to goal setting and sticking to goals with just something simple it doesn't always have to relate to your main goals it just needs to be something that can get you used to the idea of it all.

I think small daily goals are a good place to begin - things like committing to a walk everyday, writing in your journal daily or writing out your gratitude list daily, drinking a glass of water every morning - super simple I know but they are easy enough for us beginners (LOL) to get our brains used to commitment.

How many of you get satisfied from just ticking something off on a list? I LOVE ticking things off it is one of the most satisfying things in the world. So why not make up a daily chart and cross, tick, scribble whatever style you want that small task off your daily chart once you've done it for the day? Then not only will you feel good knowing you've done your deed for the day but you'll also be able to...

Track your progress

Seeing your progress will be the most motivating thing of all, and it will help you to believe in yourself more than ever!

My cute chart idea is just one of the many ways you could do this, find a way that works best for you research it get inspired and DO IT.

Lastly

The effect that committing to and achieving goals will have on our self-confidence should be all the motivation we need.

Instead of telling ourselves we 'suck' because we weren't able to simply commit to our goals we will be able to remind ourselves how great we are for working hard and trying hard to reach our goals!

Negative self talk is never ok. Ignore that asshole of an inner-voice telling you that you can't do it I know that its there, its there with me everyday and I know its the hardest thing to ignore but push past it continue your grind and show that asshole that its wrong!

I need to remind you that not fully achieving your goals is not a bad thing!!

Work hard to get there, how good does it make you feel knowing you've tried, tell yourself daily that you can do this, you can commit, you can achieve!

Guys.. WE CAN DO THIS.

My goal is to commit to a small goal - share it with ya'll - and see what progress I can achieve!

Keep an eye out! I'll be shocking ya'll with some goal commitment VERY soon!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!

Comment below your goals!!

xx

Aleisha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS | SELF-LOVE

Having positive things to say about myself is often hard, and I am not talking about my exterior, most days I curse at myself for the things I say, do and even think. 'Why would you say that Aleisha? SO DUMB' - that is probably something I think to myself on a daily basis.

Embarrassment or in other words worrying what someone is thinking of me is basically the beginning of my self-love struggle, I get embarrassed because of something I said to someone who probably doesn't give a shit and hardly even noticed what I said BECAUSE that something I said wasn't even horrific to begin with.

Its a nasty cycle of mind games with yourself. 

Usually as soon as those negative thoughts come into mind it becomes a downward spiral and my confidence levels drop, drop and drop and more and more negative thoughts begin and so I become the most damaging and hurtful person to my own self.

Sometimes when those thoughts come into mind i'll tell myself out loud to 'shut the f$*k up Aleisha' and sometimes that works...

But what works more often than that does is switching my thoughts, quite often this happens to me while I am working so it can be easy to distract myself with my work, focus on the task I am doing and the negative thoughts will disappear.

What I can suggest for those of you who might struggle with something similar is exactly that distract yourself, maybe listen to some music? Sing along with the lyrics, usually speaking out loud will stop the thoughts for me personally.

I am no expert obviously and this is something that I actually still deal with, so I don't have a lot of suggestions to help because I am still figuring this out.

On top of all of that...

I think its good practice to tell yourself something you love about yourself on a daily basis or to recognise something about yourself from the day that you might be proud by giving ourselves recognition (read more about this here) and telling ourselves we are proud of what we may have achieved or just something as simple as 'Damn my hair looks good today' we start our self-love practices from where they should be beginning not from others but from ourselves.

So today tell yourself something you love, or recognise something awesome you've done hey why not even write it in the comments below? OR even better post an image to the gram showing everyone how damn fantastic you are! Hashtag it with #sunshineleishy I'd love to see your amazing pictures too!

xx

Aleisha

 

 

BE PROUD | GIVE YOURSELF RECOGNITION

Do you ever think you are more confident than you realise?

I struggle a lot, sometimes we need to sit down and have a think about our accomplishments and recognise our achievements.

I've personally grown a lot over the past few years and yet I have never really recognised it, I of course have days where I go back to the old me and become afraid of everything...

But today is a day for recognition!

We all have different ways in which we've grown but for me its being able to stand tall and confident and have a conversation with someone who may have made me nervous before.

So today lets all celebrate our personal accomplishments, be proud of yourselves! Recognise that small or big step you've made toward your overall happiness, write them down and hold on to them to look back on so we can continue to remind ourselves how amazing we are without feeling bad about it!

xx

Aleisha