Stop lying to yourself.

Or should we fake it till we make it?


My insecurities more often than not get the best of me yet I refuse to let anyone know it... although lets be honest people can probably tell by my body language, my awkward conversation and jokes how I am really feeling.

This is what I consider faking it till I make it, but in reality my insecurities aren't going any where no matter how much I put on the brave face and push them to the back of my mind they're never fully gone, they've just been stored in another part of my brain, how is this even helpful to myself?

And as I said before the more I try to mask my true feelings the more they probably stand out to the people around me. So is there any point in my efforts of disguise?

Am I supposed to flaunt my insecurities? or is hiding them more appropriate?

I guess I am no expert and I am living my life as each day comes so its still all a learning process for me.

Putting on a brave face does often help me get through whatever task, or activity I need to get done but I more often than not still walk away thinking oh wow what a dick i've just made of myself.

My struggle I guess is learning how to make the brave face actually seem brave and not forced, and maybe this is something we all just learn over time?

Maybe we just get better at 'the brave face' I guess we all have to start somewhere? haha!

Do you ever struggle faking it till you make it? Or are you amazing at faking it.. if so send through your tips I obviously need them!





Having positive things to say about myself is often hard, and I am not talking about my exterior, most days I curse at myself for the things I say, do and even think. 'Why would you say that Aleisha? SO DUMB' - that is probably something I think to myself on a daily basis.

Embarrassment or in other words worrying what someone is thinking of me is basically the beginning of my self-love struggle, I get embarrassed because of something I said to someone who probably doesn't give a shit and hardly even noticed what I said BECAUSE that something I said wasn't even horrific to begin with.

Its a nasty cycle of mind games with yourself. 

Usually as soon as those negative thoughts come into mind it becomes a downward spiral and my confidence levels drop, drop and drop and more and more negative thoughts begin and so I become the most damaging and hurtful person to my own self.

Sometimes when those thoughts come into mind i'll tell myself out loud to 'shut the f$*k up Aleisha' and sometimes that works...

But what works more often than that does is switching my thoughts, quite often this happens to me while I am working so it can be easy to distract myself with my work, focus on the task I am doing and the negative thoughts will disappear.

What I can suggest for those of you who might struggle with something similar is exactly that distract yourself, maybe listen to some music? Sing along with the lyrics, usually speaking out loud will stop the thoughts for me personally.

I am no expert obviously and this is something that I actually still deal with, so I don't have a lot of suggestions to help because I am still figuring this out.

On top of all of that...

I think its good practice to tell yourself something you love about yourself on a daily basis or to recognise something about yourself from the day that you might be proud by giving ourselves recognition (read more about this here) and telling ourselves we are proud of what we may have achieved or just something as simple as 'Damn my hair looks good today' we start our self-love practices from where they should be beginning not from others but from ourselves.

So today tell yourself something you love, or recognise something awesome you've done hey why not even write it in the comments below? OR even better post an image to the gram showing everyone how damn fantastic you are! Hashtag it with #sunshineleishy I'd love to see your amazing pictures too!






They all say money can't buy happiness, we don't need material things to be happy.

How about me needing material things to feel that little more confident? / that little more happy?

I feel as though I need specific clothing and make up to help myself feel better, I love fashion and I have a sense of style I aim for, but quite often I wonder why do I need these things, why can't I be happy as I am? I feel this way because in all honesty I can't always afford those things that make me feel better, so it becomes a struggle of I want / need this but I can't afford it, so be happy as I am.

Is self love & confidence about loving yourself as you are, feeling comfortable as you are? Is the make up and fashion who I am and not something I am putting on to feel more confident?

Am I making any sense!?

This does my head in again and again, sometimes I just want to yell at myself and say STOP QUESTIONING IT ALEISHA, JUST BE. Just be.. If you haven't already picked up from this ranting rambling post already then yes I am an over-thinker haha.

Once I finally get back to a level headed non overthinking state I always come back to the same conclusion. Be yourself, you like that make up and those clothes? Then you should have them.

Do I save my money to be able to afford them? Or Do i save my money for my future?

Where do my priorities lay?

... The struggle is real.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!!