Commitment Phobia | Beginners Guide For Using Goals

We were taught about them in school, we can read about them in books, we see quotes about them all over our social accounts. There is absolutely no doubt that we know that goals are good for us, we know we should make them and be 'SMART' about them.

Make your goals Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound.

I have a quote attached to my cork board which sits on my desk screaming at me daily that-

'Goals put feet on our dreams'

We make resolutions in the New Year, we plan our year ahead some of us even five years ahead and then more often than not we don't stick to our resolutions, some of us don't stick to our yearly plans, we get distracted and 'life' gets in the way.

Personally I don't think a New Year resolution is a good idea - I however do believe goals are important but am I any good at goal making? Absolutely not. I have a rough idea of what I want out of life and what I want to achieve for the year definitely.

I actually think I have a severe commitment problem.

Goals SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

Can anyone relate?

I've been thinking about ways to become less 'commitment-phobic' - 'what can I write for my followers to help them if they're in the same position as me?' well guys I am obviously no expert but here is where I want to begin.

Become accountable!

I am 100% afraid of sharing my goals. That would mean I have to stick to them hahaha SO AFRAID TO COMMIT. Someone help me! 

What if I were to share via social media, this blog, with my close friends and my partner something I want to achieve? Would that help me stick to it?

I know that for a lot of people being accountable can really help them. When we share our goals with others we have to show those people that we can stick to our word and i'm not saying we have to reach the end of our goal but we do have to have worked hard to get there, I definitely don't believe we are failures if we don't fully achieve them but if we haven't even tried well... 

So maybe a good place to begin is to share our goal with someone who we know will keep us accountable.

And start small!

Now if there is one thing you need to know about me its that I am a serious like serious big big dreamer! There are things in life I want to achieve that often seem so out of reach, mostly I don't even know where to begin. Also there is just so much I want to do!

Being a big dreamer like myself is not at all a bad thing, its actually the coolest thing ever! BUT often it can make us feel (well I know it does for me) small. Especially when you find it hard to know where to begin and you cannot see the path to the end.

So for us commitment phob's - those of us who struggle to achieve our goals lets start small!

There is no point in trying to reach your biggest goal in life if you struggle sticking to your goal in the first place right? Whatever you big goal is, you can get there but in small steps, you could break your big dream into smaller blocks and begin to take it a block at a time.

Or you could just warm yourself up to goal setting and sticking to goals with just something simple it doesn't always have to relate to your main goals it just needs to be something that can get you used to the idea of it all.

I think small daily goals are a good place to begin - things like committing to a walk everyday, writing in your journal daily or writing out your gratitude list daily, drinking a glass of water every morning - super simple I know but they are easy enough for us beginners (LOL) to get our brains used to commitment.

How many of you get satisfied from just ticking something off on a list? I LOVE ticking things off it is one of the most satisfying things in the world. So why not make up a daily chart and cross, tick, scribble whatever style you want that small task off your daily chart once you've done it for the day? Then not only will you feel good knowing you've done your deed for the day but you'll also be able to...

Track your progress

Seeing your progress will be the most motivating thing of all, and it will help you to believe in yourself more than ever!

My cute chart idea is just one of the many ways you could do this, find a way that works best for you research it get inspired and DO IT.

Lastly

The effect that committing to and achieving goals will have on our self-confidence should be all the motivation we need.

Instead of telling ourselves we 'suck' because we weren't able to simply commit to our goals we will be able to remind ourselves how great we are for working hard and trying hard to reach our goals!

Negative self talk is never ok. Ignore that asshole of an inner-voice telling you that you can't do it I know that its there, its there with me everyday and I know its the hardest thing to ignore but push past it continue your grind and show that asshole that its wrong!

I need to remind you that not fully achieving your goals is not a bad thing!!

Work hard to get there, how good does it make you feel knowing you've tried, tell yourself daily that you can do this, you can commit, you can achieve!

Guys.. WE CAN DO THIS.

My goal is to commit to a small goal - share it with ya'll - and see what progress I can achieve!

Keep an eye out! I'll be shocking ya'll with some goal commitment VERY soon!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!

Comment below your goals!!

xx

Aleisha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The White Bear Project | Jaymee Morrison | Instagram

I need to take a second to do a massive shout out to one of my best gals. She recently has begun her own journey toward happiness and well being, something super relatable for me, although our struggles are similar they are also different I admire her devotion to bettering herself.

I am full of admiration for this beauty because she has made it a priority to begin to feel better, often we may find our lives filled with obstacles which stop us from making our lives, our struggles, our happiness a priority she is an example of great self love and generosity as she begins to share her journey with the world in hopes of inspiring others.

I'd love to invite you all to follow her journey over on her instagram The White Bear Project

xx

Aleisha

Growth, Development | One day at a time

I'm almost 25 years old and on a daily basis my mid wanders to the realm of if you don't sort your shit out now you will never be happy.  

I tell myself that I can't live my life fully if i'm always hating on myself so I need hurry up, figure it out, stop thinking this way. 

Its hard to remind ourselves sometimes that it's not a quick fix, we may be down and out and feeling completely crappy but not only is a quick fix not an option its probably not going to help us in the long run.

We have to take it one step, one day at a time 

'Loving yourself... it really does take a daily practice' - Ru Paul 

We all have things we need to work on in our lives and whether that be personal development, career, relationships, fitness, well being, the list goes on... We all know that there is a way to get ahead and you may not know how that might be able to happen right at this very moment but you can learn, read a book, read a blog, watch a youtube video.

There is so much information out there on all of the things you might be struggling with, you just have to take the first step to finding it and then progressing...

ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Now I don't think for myself personally there is an ending to my journey, my journey is an ongoing process that I will have to work on every day for the rest of my life, and that is the choice I've made, I've made it one of my highest priorities and I feel better everyday when I know I've done the things that make me feel better and do better.

'Make no mistake our radical self love journey does not happen in a day learning to love yourself is one of the biggest challenges we will ever face and the work is never finished it is a continual ongoing process' - Gala Darling  

If you are also beating yourself up for not getting anywhere, or not being better right now remember that if you take action and make steps toward your final goal you will get there and no it may not be right at this very moment but perseverance is key.

Also remember that we all have days where we slip up, take a step backward or don't take a step at all but that doesn't mean you have to give up, never give up because if you do you'll have to start all the way from the beginning again and any progress you've made will be lost.

We are in this together, this is why I write about these things its not to drone on about all the shit I'm going through it's to create an environment a community where we can support each other no matter where we are at in our journeys or what journey we are on.

So please share with me your struggles, share with me your progress lets communicate via email, in the comments below, on Facebook or Instagram!

Looking forward to hearing from you,

xx

Aleisha